Sunday, December 13, 2009

Anna In The After Life #11: Tea Cup Ride

Charles McCarthy

The days flew by along with the highway as Anna showed Jack her newly sharpened powers, almost washing him away with waves of pleasure breaking impossibly over and over again on an orgastic river of sensations. In between showering his man cactus in her spring showers of pleasure and practicing her grasp on the corporeal world by giving their punk driver, Margaret, the ride of her life, she told him of the things that had happened to her since their last meeting. She told him about the shakey lady, seeing her son Danny, and her time with the Master. And, she tried to get Jack to help her find her killer, but he was more interested in Mexican girls and trying to feel the rhythm of the road.

On the third or fourth day she looked out the window to the sight of the beach.

"This looks like Cali-forni-uh!" she exclaimed.

"It is baby doll. It is. This is the mighty ocean with its waves of wisdom that have lapped at the shores of this country, of this continent, of this earth for thousands of years."

"Uh, yeah, so we're back in Cali-forni-uh? Dang, why?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"Margaret there, here, in here, in this car, was just driving so far to make a drop of tea in the big tea cup called Utah." he rambled off in his usual rhythmic way.

"Tea? What?" she said, even more confused than before.

"Yeah, pussy cat, she made a quick ten grand, and now she can just coast here on the west coast." he replied.

"Ten grand? Dang, that must have been some good tea," she pondered, "Well, I guess this is where I need to be. Maybe that Joan Rivers can help me find out what killed me."

Quickly, Anna hopped into the front seat and sat on Margaret's lap and began to rub her lovely lady hump against her. The power of her sexual desire started to grow with the ghostly friction between the world of the living and the dead. She gently ran her hands over Margaret's hands, and started to guide them. Catching more flies with honey than vinegar, she shot streams of pleasure into Margaret's lady driver, and soon the car was moving at her command. The only problem now was the fact that Anna had no idea where Joan Rivers lived.

Anna drove for a moment, not sure what to do.

"EEEE!" she exclaimed, having the thought of her life, "I'll go to E!. I bet someone there knows where she lives, or I'll just wait around for awards season."

"Donkey!" Jake shouted from the back seat.


"Oh I thought we were playing a game."

Anna giggled and took her eyes off the road for a second, but a second was all it took!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Anna In The After Life #10: Going Down On The Boardwalk

Charles McCarthy

Anna walked quickly along the street, looking out at the beach and the sun settling into it's watery cradle for another night. The smell of the salty sea air embraced her nostrils and she felt truly calm for the first time since her death. Moreover, she could see the Venice beach pier coming up not to far in the distance, so she was sure she would make it before the Master left. She would finally find the Master.

She stepped onto the pier and started to walk out towards the end. Tourists, exercise fanatics, and weirdos swam around her in a sea of humanity. With every step she could feel the Master's presence growing stronger, and she could understand why no one had wanted to try to explain his power. It shot through her like little lightening bolts and a sense of satisfaction wrapped up in a snickers bar.

Finally, she saw him, and she knew it was him. He radiated a visible light of energy from his olive skin to his long and very curly black hair. As he turned and looked at her, he looked into her. He saw through her and into every bit of her being. He engulfed her supple body, her giant heaving breasts and womanhood, and her soul with his gaze.

The light in his eyes seemed to be even stronger and more powerful than the light he radiated, yet it wasn't blinding, she was able to look straight into his eyes. His body was boney, strong, lean, and sinewy as if someone had carved him out of wood and wrapped him in leather chords, and yet it was somehow soft and inviting. Somehow even the giant calluses on his hands seemed soft.

"You have come," he spoke gently, "I have been waiting."

Every word he spoke seemed to find its way deep into her heart, her soul, and her womanhood.

"Uh-hu. Are you the Master?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes Anna."

"How, how did you know my name?" she asked in wonder.

"I know all of your names Vickie. I even know your stripper names, Misstickle, Tiff Anny, Cheetarah...Should I go on?" he patiently listed.

"Wow. Dang, I don't remember all them."

A slight breeze swept across the pier and tickled her already aroused skin, and for the first time she looked down and saw the Master's circumcised man sword. It was splendid and glowed with a power of it's own.

"What's yur name?" she asked with the answer in her heart.

"I think you know, for my name is known around the world. I preached love to all when I walked among the living. My song was a song of love for all, for the meek, the sick, the poor, and the trodden down masses."

"JESUS CHRIST! Yur Burt Bacharach?" she exclaimed with a look of total confusion on her face.

"Yes and no. I am pretty sure that he is still in the land of the living," he told her calmly and with love, "But my name matters little. You have come here to learn and I have been called the greatest teacher. I will teach you."

"Wait. So what's yur name? Why won't no one tell me? Dang it!"

"I have many names. I am the Christ, the Teacher, the son of god, Jesus of Nazareth."

She stared at him for a long time without responding, and then she spoke slowly, "Yur Jesus? What happened to yur hair?"

After many hours of explaining many things to her the Master showed Anna the light of his love, and then he showed it to her again and again and again. The boardwalk and the pier shook with their lovemaking. In every position, in every place possible in the general Venice beach area, they made love. He taught her to focus her powers and to call upon them at anytime. He showed her that self love is the first love, and how to touch herself inside and out using her desires and energy to touch the world and move it in mysterious ways. His man energy filled her and mixed with her already powerful sexuality.

Through his teachings she understood many things. She still wasn't exactly sure who the Master was, but he taught her how to move the minds and bodies of men and women in the physical world with the ease of a sneeze, but with all it's power.

One day he held her in his arms after giving her the light of his word and the light of his fleshy man sacrament, and looking into her eyes he said, "You are ready Anna. It is time for you to go out into the world. It is time for you to continue on your journey, to spread my teachings, and to find your killer. You have the power now to change the world. You have the power that is in all people, but now you know how to use it."

"Will I ever see you again?" she asked, her body quivering from his last lesson, and the sadness that came with thinking of leaving him.

"Yes. You will see me in every face of every person you love. You will find me in every beauty. And, if you need to feel me, you know where I live, Venice Beach. I love you Anna," he wove his words into her heart, head, and soul, "Now go."

Anna stood and slowly walked away from his light, the light that she would always feel the heat of no matter how far she walked from him. She looked back, and he was gone.

A car horn honked, and she turned to see what was going on, and a familiar voice called out to her, "Hey pussycat! How about a ride, a glide, a slide across the country again in another direction, another circle in the turning wheel of life?"

She saw Jack hanging out the window of a beat up red El Camino driven by a punk rock chick with a bright red mohawk. He was beating out a rhythm on the top of the car with his hands as he shouted.

"You know anything about findin a killer?" she shouted back.

"All I know about is the mind killer of inaction, the muddled blackness that tries to shade the imagination with every drop of time you loose forgetting that you can think."

"Uhhhh...well, I guess that's...Okay!" she said, running and jumping into the back of the El Camino that had already started to move.

A feeling of excitement and energy rushed through her. She hadn't been in the back of an El Camino since the last time she was in Panama City. Her woman energy tingled with the memories it brought back, and she stood and shouted as they drove off down the road.

"Whhhhoooooo Hoooooo! I'm gonna find my killer!" she shouted, mixing the redneck mating call with a declaration of purpose, her breasts swaying in the wind as she shook her body, arms reaching into the heavens above.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Anna In The After Life #9: A Helping Hand

Charles McCarthy

As Anna flew through the air, time seemed to slow down. She could see the ground rushing towards her, and she was sure that, that evil lady was going to catch her and hurt her. She let out a scream of fear.

"HELP!" she screamed as she fell.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand reached out and caught her hand and pulled her up and onto the back of a speeding truck.

She looked back to see Anna Lee shaking her fist violently, so violently that her whole body shook.

"Dang! I guess that's why they call them Shakers."

Turning to see who her savior was, she found herself looking into the face of an angel, her son Daniel. She reached out and grabbed him and hugged him tight.

"Danny! You saved my life!" she cried with joy, shoving his head into her breasts, "What are you doin here? You saved my life!"

Finally she let Danny free from her embrace.

"What am I doin here? What are you doin here mom?" he said with a smile, "I thought you were doin so well. How did you die?"

"I don't know. I'm questin to find my killer right now," she replied excitedly, "Oh! Maybe I'll try to find your killer too."

" killed me."

"Dang? I did? Wha?" she questioned with her head swimming in confusion, "I killed you? Why? Wha?"

"Yeah mom. Remember the aspirin you gave me when I got to the hospital? Yeah, well it was actually methadone," he explained, "It interacted with a bunch of other stuff and killed me."

Anna grew sad. She had killed her son. She was the worst mother in the world. How could she go on.

"I killed you? I'm a terrible mother," she cried, "You should have left me back there.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, hugging her, "Dude, life when you're dead rules! I'm so much happier now. I was just on my way to a rave at River Phoenix's house."

Anna held his shoulders and took a good look at him. He had never looked better. He was happy.

"As long as you're happy."

"I am," Danny responded seriously, and then asked, "Where are you going? You can come too if you want."

"I'm tryin to get to Venice before the sun sets, so as I can find the Master. People keep tellin me that my powers are too strong, an he has to teach me," she explained, continuing, "I have to be able to use my powers, so I can find my killer."

"You'll like the Master," he said, looking around, "You better jump off here. Venice is that way."

Anna looked in the direction he was pointing, and then without thinking she jumped off of the truck. She rolled to a stop on the ground and got up.

"I'll see you later. I love you Danny, my baby Danny!" she shouted to the truck, as it sped away.

Dusting herself off, she started to walk along the road into the setting sun.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Anna In The After Life #8: Shaken Up And Down

Charles McCarthy

Orville slammed on his breaks and sent Anna flying off of the bike, over the handle bars, and into a Hollywood Fantasy Tours tour bus full of people. Her sexual energy was still very, very strong, so she gave each person on the bus that she passed through an intense orgasm, ending with Bruce the bus driver.

"That's a deep propERTEEEEE OH YEAH! Give it to me daddy!" he exclaimed in ecstasy over the bus's speakers, as Anna landed head first in his lap.

"What the fuck?" Anna exclaimed out loud, getting up and jumping off the bus.

She looked around for Orville, and found him peddling off in the opposite direction as fast as he could.

"Where'r You GOIN?" she shouted.

Orville didn't reply and kept peddling as fast as he could. He seemed scared. This prompted Anna to look around. She looked, and she looked, but she didn't see anything scary or bad.

"Dang! I'm gonna miss the Master."

"The Master can't help you now," came a voice behind her.

Anna turned to find a shriveled up little woman with dark black hair. Her pigish little nose warbled when she spoke as if she was using every muscle possible in her face when she spoke. She covered her shriveled little breasts and her womanhood with her hands.

"What do you mean, hu? Why not?" Anna asked, upset.

"For thou art an abomination that I shalt striked down!"

"Striked wha?" Anna responded, more confused than usual.

The woman ran at her, keeping her hands over her breasts and womanhood. Anna dodged to the left, but the woman caught her arm with her shoulder, causing Anna to scream out in pain, as she turned to face the woman again.

"Who are you? Why are you trying to hurt me?" she quivered, pain in her voice.

"I am Anna Lee Walker! The founder of the Shaker religion!" she answered with great authority, "and ye art an abomination!"

"Okay...What's a Shaker?" Anna asked, still confused.

Growing angrier, Anna Lee replied very curtly, "A religion that I founded!"

"So?" Anna asked again.

"Sex is evil! EVIL!" Anna Lee croaked out at the top of her lungs, while running at Anna as fast as she could, "I shall destroy ye!"

"Dang!" Anna screamed as she dodged her and ran off down the street away from her shriveled body as fast as she could.

Cars flew by as Anna ran down the middle of Santa Monica BLVD. as fast as she could with Anna Lee right behind her. Her breasts bounced madly as she ran, and the only thing keeping her ahead was the fact that Anna Lee kept her hands over her breasts and wilted flower the whole time, slowing her.

"Get away! I didn't do nothin to you!" Anna shouted.

"Thou art sex and carnal erotica incarnate," Anna Lee preached, "Ye shall be destroyed!"

"But I'm already dead!" Anna shouted back, and then seeing some other ghosts, she started to scream, "Help! Help Me! This crazy Shakin lady's after me!

The others heard her, but instead of coming to her aid, they all ran off as fast as they could from the shriveled little woman.

"There is no one to help thou!"

Anna ran faster, and then the unthinkable happened. She tripped over her own foot.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Anna In The After Life #7: Love By Cyclist

Charles McCarthy

Marilyn twirled her hair and started again, " probably wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Yes I would." Anna pouted back.

"People told me, and I didn't believe it," Marilyn cooed soothingly, "It's best that you see him and understand yourself.

"Just cause you said so I believe you," Anna responded, crossing her arms, "but I still don't like it."

"You'll understand after."

Anna looked around. The sun was slowly setting in the West, throwing long dark shadows down Hollywood Blvd. and bathing every dirty inch of the street in it's deep orange light.

"Dang. This looks just like Pearl Harbor," Anna gawked looking into the sun and shading her eyes, "So where is the Master anyway?"

"He's in Venice. He is always in Venice to see the sun set," Marilyn told her dreamily, "He will be there until 'the last blades of light cease to cut away the dark,' at least that's what he told me one time," she finished giggling.

"Well, I better fly on over there. I can fly. I can fly. I can fly!"

Nothing happened.

"Damn it! What's wrong now?" she pouted, looking to a laughing Marilyn for help.

"Silly! You have to bathe in man power before you can fly," she laughed, "You're going to have to walk or take the bus or a horse or something."

"Oh well, I guess I'll start walking," she said, hugging Marilyn one last time, feeling her soft white skin against hers and almost not wanting to go, but she had to go.

Anna walked off down the street into the sunset, leaving Marilyn behind. She walked along, walking past cars slowly inching along the street.

"Well, I guess I ain't takin a car or bus. Dang," she said out loud to herself, "How am I goin to get there? I need a bike or a horse or somethin to ride."

Just as she said this, her good luck kept up, and Orville Wright came riding along on a bicycle, his mustache blowing gloriously in the wind along with the rest of his naked body. Of course the only Orville Anna knew about made popcorn.

"I say! Did someone say that they needed a mustache ride?" he shouted, skidding to a halt next to her.

"Dang, everyone's so nice when they're dead," she exclaimed, "Wait a second! Did you say mustache ride? I need a bike ride!"

"How about both lassie?"

"Who you callin Lassie? You think I look like a dog?" she pouted, feelings hurt.

"Oh no miss. On the contrary, if you were to be compared to any animal, it would be fine mare or some sort of gazelle prancing over the African prairies in all it's sleek beauty," he professed eloquently, "for you are beauty in motion."

Anna looked at him for a long time with her mouth hanging slightly ajar before responding, "So can I have a ride or not?"

"Why certainly," he adjusted his thick man-spoke as he spoke, "As long as you don't mind riding my banana..."

She cut him off, "Shoot! I had a banana bike when I was a kid. I could do wheelies," she stopped, realizing that he wasn't talking about his bike, and started again, "I mean, sure, I ain't never done that on a bike before, not the kind you peddle."

"Grand!" he said with a smile, "Hop on!"

"You think we can make it to Venice before the sun sets?"

"We shall try our best!"

Anna straddled the bike in front of Orville and felt the tingling in her stomach grow as his hands found their way around her. He guided her feet to the peddles, and guided his pistol slowly between her pedals (for you botanists out there), and with a push, they were off!

Anna peddled like she had never peddled before. She wanted to finally find this Master guy, and tingling balls of ecstasy bounced through her body with each stroke of her foot. For with each rotation of the gears, she found herself bouncing up and down on his crank shaft.

The bike was going faster and faster, and Orville was having trouble guiding it. They sliced through Hollywood, and were soon on Santa Monica BLVD. They moved and grinded like gears in a perpetual ecstasy machine. His man piston pumped in and out of her fueled by the fires of her inner desires and peddling. The wind whipped through their hair and wrapped around their naked bodies as they flew down the street on an orgasmic, two wheeled, roller coaster.

"Oh My!"

Suddenly something went wrong!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Anna In The After Life #6: Balls Are A Girls Best Friend But Fists Are Fun Too

Charles McCarthy

Anna turned to find the source of the giggling. What she found blew her mind. She could hardly believe her eyes, but there before her, in all her naked splendor, was Marilyn Monroe tapping her foot.

"What do you think you're doing standing on my star?" Marilyn giggled bitchily, "You don't have one of your own?"

"Uhhh," Anna replied gracefully.


Anna looked down to find that she was, in fact, standing on Marilyn Monroe's star, and so she quickly sidestepped, almost tripping over her own feet. Then she looked quickly up at Marilyn, seeking her approval. What she found was Marilyn giggling and laughing even more than before.

Marilyn laughed and with a smile comforted Anna, "I was just joshing ya silly. I'm not a witch like that."

"Oh! Thank gawd. You are my idol. I love you so much, more better than any other star ever," she blurted out excitedly, "I've seen all your movie a gabillion times. Don't tell anyone, but I even bought a pair of your old panties off of Ebay."

"I know silly. I'm a fan of you too. I even came to see you once," Marilyn bubbled, stepping closer and running a finger slowly down Anna's nose, "I even gave you some kisses, though I quite think that you thought that I was a man."

Anna stood awestruck, and began to really look at Marilyn's perfectly proportioned, fleshy, and curvy body. Her hair was perfectly done, and from where she was standing, Anna could tell that Marilyn was enjoying the air vent she was standing on, just as much as she would have with panties and a dress on.

"I, I don't know what to say. That was you? You're the ghost I had sex with? Dang," she said, looking Marilyn up and down, "I did think you was a man."

"I know. You kept saying, 'Give it to me you big stud man! Man Stud give it to me you dude!' It was funny," Marilyn bubbled out, trying to imitate Anna's southern twang, "I couldn't stop laughing, because it was all me."

Marilyn held up her hand and made it into a fist.

"Dang!" Anna moaned, as Marilyn stepped closer and started to rub her ample breasts against her own.

Quickly they were on the ground tangled up like blonde, naked, siamese twin joined at the groin. People walked by, over, and through them as they came together in ecstasy, feeling the heat and power of each other's super sexual energy. Marilyn kissed Anna's foot, and Anna responded by taking all of Marilyn's petite foot in her mouth and sucking on it like a chicken bone. Men and women passing through the erotic force field that they created let out unexpected and unexplainable moans of pleasure.




They rolled over and onto a homeless man, interrupting his newspaper ca-coon slumber and replacing it with dreams of a double headed snake, and a nocturnal release that was so powerful that it should have had nocturnal release forms signed prior to happening.

Anna moaned, "I never felt this good!"

"Me either," Marilyn giggled back, as she flipped around and got on her knees in front of Anna's walk of fame.

They went on for hours and hours until they were both completely exhausted, satisfied, and had broken several windows, and caused more than a few bicycle accidents.

"Dang, that felt good," Anna whined in postmortem-paranormal-coital bliss.

"Me too. Poo poopie do."

"I wish I didn't have to go find this Master guy and then go find my killer," Anna whined again.

Marilyn began to tickle Anna and coax her, "You know you need to. I know you do too, and guess what silly billy."


"I know where the Master is right now," she giggled, kissing Anna on the cheek.

"Oh thank gawd!" Anna responded with a laugh, "I didn't know how I was goin to find him lookin all over Cali-forni-uh for him and such. Who the heck is he anyway?"


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Anna In The After Life #5: Flying High To The Stars


Charles McCarthy

Anna soared above the ground giggling as people and horses and other things flew by below her. She had always wondered what it would be like to be able to fly like that guy in Greatest American Hero, and now she knew. The air felt delicious as it rushed over her body, bringing back the tingling sensation and making her fly higher. She would be in Cali-forni-uh in no time at all. 

She was very high above the ground now, and she could hardly see anything at all with all the clouds and all. She could be anywhere. She might even be over Texas. She remembered James. 

Wait! How would she know when she was above Cali-forni-uh? She might over shoot it and wind up in Japan or even farther away, Oregon. 

Then an even greater fear struck her. How was she supposed to get down? The big black stranger had taught her how to fly, but he hadn't told her how not to fly. How was she supposed to get down?

"What'm I supposed to do now?" she said out loud, "Maybe I can just say I don't want to fly." 

As soon as these words came from her mouth, she began to plummet towards the earth.

"Dang! That worked!" Anna shouted to no one in particular, as she fell to earth like a stone. 

Luckily she had made it to LA, and more importantly, to Hollywood. The ground rushed up at her and she saw stars. 


Again, luck was with her, and hitting the ground didn't hurt at all. She fell on her butt and bounced once before coming to a full stop and looking around. Cars crept by her slower than the few dirty bums, hipsters, and Scientologists that were walking by on the sidewalk. 

Anna stood up and looked down. She saw that she was standing on a star. Then a giggle came from behind her. She turned to look and couldn't hardly believe her eyes.