Anna In The After Life #8: Shaken Up And Down

by
Charles McCarthy

Orville slammed on his breaks and sent Anna flying off of the bike, over the handle bars, and into a Hollywood Fantasy Tours tour bus full of people. Her sexual energy was still very, very strong, so she gave each person on the bus that she passed through an intense orgasm, ending with Bruce the bus driver.

"That's a deep propERTEEEEE OH YEAH! Give it to me daddy!" he exclaimed in ecstasy over the bus's speakers, as Anna landed head first in his lap.

"What the fuck?" Anna exclaimed out loud, getting up and jumping off the bus.

She looked around for Orville, and found him peddling off in the opposite direction as fast as he could.

"Where'r You GOIN?" she shouted.

Orville didn't reply and kept peddling as fast as he could. He seemed scared. This prompted Anna to look around. She looked, and she looked, but she didn't see anything scary or bad.

"Dang! I'm gonna miss the Master."

"The Master can't help you now," came a voice behind her.

Anna turned to find a shriveled up little woman with dark black hair. Her pigish little nose warbled when she spoke as if she was using every muscle possible in her face when she spoke. She covered her shriveled little breasts and her womanhood with her hands.

"What do you mean, hu? Why not?" Anna asked, upset.

"For thou art an abomination that I shalt striked down!"

"Striked wha?" Anna responded, more confused than usual.

The woman ran at her, keeping her hands over her breasts and womanhood. Anna dodged to the left, but the woman caught her arm with her shoulder, causing Anna to scream out in pain, as she turned to face the woman again.

"Who are you? Why are you trying to hurt me?" she quivered, pain in her voice.

"I am Anna Lee Walker! The founder of the Shaker religion!" she answered with great authority, "and ye art an abomination!"

"Okay...What's a Shaker?" Anna asked, still confused.

Growing angrier, Anna Lee replied very curtly, "A religion that I founded!"

"So?" Anna asked again.

"Sex is evil! EVIL!" Anna Lee croaked out at the top of her lungs, while running at Anna as fast as she could, "I shall destroy ye!"

"Dang!" Anna screamed as she dodged her and ran off down the street away from her shriveled body as fast as she could.

Cars flew by as Anna ran down the middle of Santa Monica BLVD. as fast as she could with Anna Lee right behind her. Her breasts bounced madly as she ran, and the only thing keeping her ahead was the fact that Anna Lee kept her hands over her breasts and wilted flower the whole time, slowing her.

"Get away! I didn't do nothin to you!" Anna shouted.

"Thou art sex and carnal erotica incarnate," Anna Lee preached, "Ye shall be destroyed!"

"But I'm already dead!" Anna shouted back, and then seeing some other ghosts, she started to scream, "Help! Help Me! This crazy Shakin lady's after me!

The others heard her, but instead of coming to her aid, they all ran off as fast as they could from the shriveled little woman.

"There is no one to help thou!"

Anna ran faster, and then the unthinkable happened. She tripped over her own foot.

Anna In The After Life #7: Love By Cyclist

by
Charles McCarthy

Marilyn twirled her hair and started again, "Well...you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Yes I would." Anna pouted back.

"People told me, and I didn't believe it," Marilyn cooed soothingly, "It's best that you see him and understand yourself.

"Just cause you said so I believe you," Anna responded, crossing her arms, "but I still don't like it."

"You'll understand after."

Anna looked around. The sun was slowly setting in the West, throwing long dark shadows down Hollywood Blvd. and bathing every dirty inch of the street in it's deep orange light.

"Dang. This looks just like Pearl Harbor," Anna gawked looking into the sun and shading her eyes, "So where is the Master anyway?"

"He's in Venice. He is always in Venice to see the sun set," Marilyn told her dreamily, "He will be there until 'the last blades of light cease to cut away the dark,' at least that's what he told me one time," she finished giggling.

"Well, I better fly on over there. I can fly. I can fly. I can fly!"

Nothing happened.

"Damn it! What's wrong now?" she pouted, looking to a laughing Marilyn for help.

"Silly! You have to bathe in man power before you can fly," she laughed, "You're going to have to walk or take the bus or a horse or something."

"Oh well, I guess I'll start walking," she said, hugging Marilyn one last time, feeling her soft white skin against hers and almost not wanting to go, but she had to go.

Anna walked off down the street into the sunset, leaving Marilyn behind. She walked along, walking past cars slowly inching along the street.

"Well, I guess I ain't takin a car or bus. Dang," she said out loud to herself, "How am I goin to get there? I need a bike or a horse or somethin to ride."

Just as she said this, her good luck kept up, and Orville Wright came riding along on a bicycle, his mustache blowing gloriously in the wind along with the rest of his naked body. Of course the only Orville Anna knew about made popcorn.

"I say! Did someone say that they needed a mustache ride?" he shouted, skidding to a halt next to her.

"Dang, everyone's so nice when they're dead," she exclaimed, "Wait a second! Did you say mustache ride? I need a bike ride!"

"How about both lassie?"

"Who you callin Lassie? You think I look like a dog?" she pouted, feelings hurt.

"Oh no miss. On the contrary, if you were to be compared to any animal, it would be fine mare or some sort of gazelle prancing over the African prairies in all it's sleek beauty," he professed eloquently, "for you are beauty in motion."

Anna looked at him for a long time with her mouth hanging slightly ajar before responding, "So can I have a ride or not?"

"Why certainly," he adjusted his thick man-spoke as he spoke, "As long as you don't mind riding my banana..."

She cut him off, "Shoot! I had a banana bike when I was a kid. I could do wheelies," she stopped, realizing that he wasn't talking about his bike, and started again, "I mean, sure, I ain't never done that on a bike before, not the kind you peddle."

"Grand!" he said with a smile, "Hop on!"

"You think we can make it to Venice before the sun sets?"

"We shall try our best!"

Anna straddled the bike in front of Orville and felt the tingling in her stomach grow as his hands found their way around her. He guided her feet to the peddles, and guided his pistol slowly between her pedals (for you botanists out there), and with a push, they were off!

Anna peddled like she had never peddled before. She wanted to finally find this Master guy, and tingling balls of ecstasy bounced through her body with each stroke of her foot. For with each rotation of the gears, she found herself bouncing up and down on his crank shaft.

The bike was going faster and faster, and Orville was having trouble guiding it. They sliced through Hollywood, and were soon on Santa Monica BLVD. They moved and grinded like gears in a perpetual ecstasy machine. His man piston pumped in and out of her fueled by the fires of her inner desires and peddling. The wind whipped through their hair and wrapped around their naked bodies as they flew down the street on an orgasmic, two wheeled, roller coaster.

"Oh My!"

Suddenly something went wrong!

Anna In The After Life #5: Flying High To The Stars

by

Charles McCarthy

Anna soared above the ground giggling as people and horses and other things flew by below her. She had always wondered what it would be like to be able to fly like that guy in Greatest American Hero, and now she knew. The air felt delicious as it rushed over her body, bringing back the tingling sensation and making her fly higher. She would be in Cali-forni-uh in no time at all. 

She was very high above the ground now, and she could hardly see anything at all with all the clouds and all. She could be anywhere. She might even be over Texas. She remembered James. 

Wait! How would she know when she was above Cali-forni-uh? She might over shoot it and wind up in Japan or even farther away, Oregon. 

Then an even greater fear struck her. How was she supposed to get down? The big black stranger had taught her how to fly, but he hadn't told her how not to fly. How was she supposed to get down?

"What'm I supposed to do now?" she said out loud, "Maybe I can just say I don't want to fly." 

As soon as these words came from her mouth, she began to plummet towards the earth.

"Dang! That worked!" Anna shouted to no one in particular, as she fell to earth like a stone. 

Luckily she had made it to LA, and more importantly, to Hollywood. The ground rushed up at her and she saw stars. 

"Dang!"

Again, luck was with her, and hitting the ground didn't hurt at all. She fell on her butt and bounced once before coming to a full stop and looking around. Cars crept by her slower than the few dirty bums, hipsters, and Scientologists that were walking by on the sidewalk. 

Anna stood up and looked down. She saw that she was standing on a star. Then a giggle came from behind her. She turned to look and couldn't hardly believe her eyes.

Anna In The After Life #4: A Big Hard Lesson in the Big Easy

Anna In The After Life #4: A Big Hard Lesson in the Big Easy
by
Charles McCarthy

The road ahead became the road behind as the white trash Florida inland swamps gave way to southern Alabama and beyond all the while seeing Steve muttering to himself, trying to come to terms with his paranormal sexual experience.

Anna and Jack lounged in the back seat watching the countryside slide by. Anna daydreamed about monkeys and all the amazing things they could do these days, forgetting about her troubles and her quest to find her own murderer, for a little while at least.

The hours past, and they soon found themselves entering the dirty streets of a city that no amount of rain or flood could wash clean, New Orleans. Steve seemed to know the city well and drove for the French Quarter like an iron filing drawn to a magnet, parking the car and heading into a bar famous for its hand grenades, hurricanes, and herpes, The Scarlet Pimp 'r' Nail.

"Where's he goin?" Anna asked.

"I think you shook him up like the drinks of the gods on the edge of the world of reason. I think you shook him up like an earthquake of the soul and the soul of the shoe of our earth is you," Jack replied, making no sense to Anna.

"I gotta go. I need to figure out who killed me, an you aren't helpin."

"Fair is fair and far away in this realm with fate at the helm," Jack answered back.

Anna got out of the car. She walked off down the streets of the French Quarter feeling a sense of power, feeling the tingling in her belly grow for no reason that she could figure. She ran her hands over the bricks of the buildings she passed, and the feeling became stronger. It was as if this whole area was drenched in sexual energy.

"Wooooohooo!"

Anna turned to the sound of the redneck mating call just in time to see a middle aged, overweight woman with blonde-orange hair and jet black roots in a "Big Johnson" t-shirt lifting her shirt to show off her flap-jack breasts to a group of teenage boys.

"The Big Easy, that's what they call it," came a whisper in her ear.

Anna turned around quickly to find a tall black man. He was muscular but stringy and his lack of clothes and giant chocolatey po' boy, told Anna right way that he was a ghost too, or he was a crazy person, and he wasn't actually talking to her.

"Yeah?" she responded, hoping that he would be able to hear her, and that he wasn't just a crazy person.

"The Big Easy, that's what it is. That's why they call it that," he responded.

"Oh yeah? Whatta they call you The Big Hard?"

He laughed deeply and ran his hand over her shoulder.

"There would be no subtlety in that name would there be?" he laughed.

"Hell no!"

As if in a trance, Anna fell to her knees, grabbed his fleshy night stick, and began to kiss and lick it like a giant candy bar. She worked her way up and down its length until his "old faithful" was faithful, and he lifted her to her feet drenched in his milk and honey.

"Thank you ever so much my little flower."

"I couldn't help myself," she replied.

"I know. Your energy is very strong. What brings you here."

"I'm tryin to get to Cali-forni-uh to find the Master, so he can teach me about my powers, so I can find out who killed me, cause I was killed."

"Fair enough," he laughed, "Have you learned how to fly yet?"

"No! Dang, I was wishin I could fly just a little while ago."

"You have all you need right now. First, you must drench yourself in a man's manly liquids. Second, you must think sexy thoughts. Third, you must say 'I can fly' four times," he told her patiently.

"Dang. That's all?"

"Yes."

"I can fly. I can fly. I can Fly. I CAN FLY!" Anna exclaimed as her feet left the ground and she began to float up and over the buildings.

"Good luck!" he shouted from below.

"Wooooohooo!" Anna screamed as she soared over the city, turning and heading for the setting sun, "Cali-forni-uh here I come!"

Anna In The After Life #2: Death Takes On A Whole New Meaning

by
Charles McCarthy

Anna and James walked along the hospital hallway in silent bliss, reliving their recent orgasmic experience.

"What happened back there?" she asked with a giggle.

"You," he said looking her over, "your sexual energy is very, very strong. You have to learn to control it better."

Anna looked down at her body, still glowing from their encounter with that gorgeous redhead.

"Shit! I can't do nothin right."

"Anna, it's not wrong. You have a power. You are special. You just need to learn how to control it."

They were slowly approaching the doors of the hospital where the natural light from outside was beginning to mingle with the institutional fluorescent lights of the hospital.

"Can you teach me?" she asked slowly laying her head on James's shoulder.

"No, you are too powerful. You must seek the master."

Anna giggled playfully, "The master?"

"Yes."

They stepped through the hospital doors and into the sun, but it wasn't the sun that made Anna cover her face. Hundreds of paparazzi and reporters huddled in the parking lot. Out of instinct, Anna prepared to fend them off and run away.

James stroked her head and whispered, "It will be okay. Remember. They can't see you."

But across the parking lot one reporter did turn and squint, trying to make them out in the bright Florida sun as Anna lifted her head to see the lack of reaction from the reporters.

"But look," she said pointing to Joan Rivers speed walking across the parking lot alone.

She reached them panting heavily and holding her side.

"Gawd, you would think that Oil of Olay would steal some of this fucking moisture from Florida and use it in some lotion. Is it humid or what?"

Anna and James stood shocked. She was obviously talking to them. There was no one else around that she could be talking to.

"Anna, first let me say, you look won-der-ful! I can't say you have ever looked this good. No, really, I can't. It's a legal thing," she said in one long breath, pausing only to fix her hair, "I don't want to get into it, but how do you feel? How do you feel?"

"I, I feel great, but I...I'm dead. You shouldn't be seein me."

James added, "Are you dead?"

"Hon, let me tell you. I've been seeing dead people for years. Between the botox, the illegal European blend of toxins that I get pumped into my skin, the plastic bits and pieces in my ass and tits, and my lack of compassion and humanity, I said sionara to being a real, live person a long time ago. Don't tell "E!" though. It might nullify some of my contracts," Joan monologued, choking out the last few words.

Anna reached out and touched Joan's face. Her hand didn't pass threw it.

"Weird," Anna exclaimed, continuing to play with Joan's face like silly puddy.

Ignoring Anna's touch, Joan asked, "Any idea who killed you babe?"

Anna stopped playing with her face and looked shocked.

"Someone killed me?"

"Joan, I think we need to get going," James said, trying to politely end the conversation.

"Someone killed me? I don't understand."

"You bet your life or your death, the way it is now, someone killed you and killed you good," Joan blurted out, as James lead Anna away.

"What's she talkin about?"

"I'm not quite sure," James said, looking over his shoulder, "but if you were killed, and you are going to do anything about it, you need to find the Master first and learn how to control your powers. You will never get anything done on your own without them."

"Aren't you comin with me?" she asked sadly.

James looked around and back at the hospital before replying, "My place is here. I'm sorry."

"Where is the master?"

"Van Nuys or Chatsworth."

"Cali-forni-uh? Los Angeles?"

"Yes. You have had more "True Hollywood Stories" than anyone alive or dead, so you should have no problem finding friends to help you on your way. Now go."

James placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and ran his hand slowly over her breasts before turning and walking back towards the hospital.

An Introduction

This is a serialized, erotic, paranormal, mystery, thriller about Anna Nicole Smith's ghost's journey through the afterlife and her quest to find her killer.

I hope you enjoy.


Charles McCarthy