Anna In The After Life #8: Shaken Up And Down

by
Charles McCarthy

Orville slammed on his breaks and sent Anna flying off of the bike, over the handle bars, and into a Hollywood Fantasy Tours tour bus full of people. Her sexual energy was still very, very strong, so she gave each person on the bus that she passed through an intense orgasm, ending with Bruce the bus driver.

"That's a deep propERTEEEEE OH YEAH! Give it to me daddy!" he exclaimed in ecstasy over the bus's speakers, as Anna landed head first in his lap.

"What the fuck?" Anna exclaimed out loud, getting up and jumping off the bus.

She looked around for Orville, and found him peddling off in the opposite direction as fast as he could.

"Where'r You GOIN?" she shouted.

Orville didn't reply and kept peddling as fast as he could. He seemed scared. This prompted Anna to look around. She looked, and she looked, but she didn't see anything scary or bad.

"Dang! I'm gonna miss the Master."

"The Master can't help you now," came a voice behind her.

Anna turned to find a shriveled up little woman with dark black hair. Her pigish little nose warbled when she spoke as if she was using every muscle possible in her face when she spoke. She covered her shriveled little breasts and her womanhood with her hands.

"What do you mean, hu? Why not?" Anna asked, upset.

"For thou art an abomination that I shalt striked down!"

"Striked wha?" Anna responded, more confused than usual.

The woman ran at her, keeping her hands over her breasts and womanhood. Anna dodged to the left, but the woman caught her arm with her shoulder, causing Anna to scream out in pain, as she turned to face the woman again.

"Who are you? Why are you trying to hurt me?" she quivered, pain in her voice.

"I am Anna Lee Walker! The founder of the Shaker religion!" she answered with great authority, "and ye art an abomination!"

"Okay...What's a Shaker?" Anna asked, still confused.

Growing angrier, Anna Lee replied very curtly, "A religion that I founded!"

"So?" Anna asked again.

"Sex is evil! EVIL!" Anna Lee croaked out at the top of her lungs, while running at Anna as fast as she could, "I shall destroy ye!"

"Dang!" Anna screamed as she dodged her and ran off down the street away from her shriveled body as fast as she could.

Cars flew by as Anna ran down the middle of Santa Monica BLVD. as fast as she could with Anna Lee right behind her. Her breasts bounced madly as she ran, and the only thing keeping her ahead was the fact that Anna Lee kept her hands over her breasts and wilted flower the whole time, slowing her.

"Get away! I didn't do nothin to you!" Anna shouted.

"Thou art sex and carnal erotica incarnate," Anna Lee preached, "Ye shall be destroyed!"

"But I'm already dead!" Anna shouted back, and then seeing some other ghosts, she started to scream, "Help! Help Me! This crazy Shakin lady's after me!

The others heard her, but instead of coming to her aid, they all ran off as fast as they could from the shriveled little woman.

"There is no one to help thou!"

Anna ran faster, and then the unthinkable happened. She tripped over her own foot.

Anna In The After Life #7: Love By Cyclist

by
Charles McCarthy

Marilyn twirled her hair and started again, "Well...you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Yes I would." Anna pouted back.

"People told me, and I didn't believe it," Marilyn cooed soothingly, "It's best that you see him and understand yourself.

"Just cause you said so I believe you," Anna responded, crossing her arms, "but I still don't like it."

"You'll understand after."

Anna looked around. The sun was slowly setting in the West, throwing long dark shadows down Hollywood Blvd. and bathing every dirty inch of the street in it's deep orange light.

"Dang. This looks just like Pearl Harbor," Anna gawked looking into the sun and shading her eyes, "So where is the Master anyway?"

"He's in Venice. He is always in Venice to see the sun set," Marilyn told her dreamily, "He will be there until 'the last blades of light cease to cut away the dark,' at least that's what he told me one time," she finished giggling.

"Well, I better fly on over there. I can fly. I can fly. I can fly!"

Nothing happened.

"Damn it! What's wrong now?" she pouted, looking to a laughing Marilyn for help.

"Silly! You have to bathe in man power before you can fly," she laughed, "You're going to have to walk or take the bus or a horse or something."

"Oh well, I guess I'll start walking," she said, hugging Marilyn one last time, feeling her soft white skin against hers and almost not wanting to go, but she had to go.

Anna walked off down the street into the sunset, leaving Marilyn behind. She walked along, walking past cars slowly inching along the street.

"Well, I guess I ain't takin a car or bus. Dang," she said out loud to herself, "How am I goin to get there? I need a bike or a horse or somethin to ride."

Just as she said this, her good luck kept up, and Orville Wright came riding along on a bicycle, his mustache blowing gloriously in the wind along with the rest of his naked body. Of course the only Orville Anna knew about made popcorn.

"I say! Did someone say that they needed a mustache ride?" he shouted, skidding to a halt next to her.

"Dang, everyone's so nice when they're dead," she exclaimed, "Wait a second! Did you say mustache ride? I need a bike ride!"

"How about both lassie?"

"Who you callin Lassie? You think I look like a dog?" she pouted, feelings hurt.

"Oh no miss. On the contrary, if you were to be compared to any animal, it would be fine mare or some sort of gazelle prancing over the African prairies in all it's sleek beauty," he professed eloquently, "for you are beauty in motion."

Anna looked at him for a long time with her mouth hanging slightly ajar before responding, "So can I have a ride or not?"

"Why certainly," he adjusted his thick man-spoke as he spoke, "As long as you don't mind riding my banana..."

She cut him off, "Shoot! I had a banana bike when I was a kid. I could do wheelies," she stopped, realizing that he wasn't talking about his bike, and started again, "I mean, sure, I ain't never done that on a bike before, not the kind you peddle."

"Grand!" he said with a smile, "Hop on!"

"You think we can make it to Venice before the sun sets?"

"We shall try our best!"

Anna straddled the bike in front of Orville and felt the tingling in her stomach grow as his hands found their way around her. He guided her feet to the peddles, and guided his pistol slowly between her pedals (for you botanists out there), and with a push, they were off!

Anna peddled like she had never peddled before. She wanted to finally find this Master guy, and tingling balls of ecstasy bounced through her body with each stroke of her foot. For with each rotation of the gears, she found herself bouncing up and down on his crank shaft.

The bike was going faster and faster, and Orville was having trouble guiding it. They sliced through Hollywood, and were soon on Santa Monica BLVD. They moved and grinded like gears in a perpetual ecstasy machine. His man piston pumped in and out of her fueled by the fires of her inner desires and peddling. The wind whipped through their hair and wrapped around their naked bodies as they flew down the street on an orgasmic, two wheeled, roller coaster.

"Oh My!"

Suddenly something went wrong!

Anna In The After Life #6: Balls Are A Girls Best Friend But Fists Are Fun Too

by
Charles McCarthy

Anna turned to find the source of the giggling. What she found blew her mind. She could hardly believe her eyes, but there before her, in all her naked splendor, was Marilyn Monroe tapping her foot.

"What do you think you're doing standing on my star?" Marilyn giggled bitchily, "You don't have one of your own?"

"Uhhh," Anna replied gracefully.

"Well?"

Anna looked down to find that she was, in fact, standing on Marilyn Monroe's star, and so she quickly sidestepped, almost tripping over her own feet. Then she looked quickly up at Marilyn, seeking her approval. What she found was Marilyn giggling and laughing even more than before.

Marilyn laughed and with a smile comforted Anna, "I was just joshing ya silly. I'm not a witch like that."

"Oh! Thank gawd. You are my idol. I love you so much, more better than any other star ever," she blurted out excitedly, "I've seen all your movie a gabillion times. Don't tell anyone, but I even bought a pair of your old panties off of Ebay."

"I know silly. I'm a fan of you too. I even came to see you once," Marilyn bubbled, stepping closer and running a finger slowly down Anna's nose, "I even gave you some kisses, though I quite think that you thought that I was a man."

Anna stood awestruck, and began to really look at Marilyn's perfectly proportioned, fleshy, and curvy body. Her hair was perfectly done, and from where she was standing, Anna could tell that Marilyn was enjoying the air vent she was standing on, just as much as she would have with panties and a dress on.

"I, I don't know what to say. That was you? You're the ghost I had sex with? Dang," she said, looking Marilyn up and down, "I did think you was a man."

"I know. You kept saying, 'Give it to me you big stud man! Man Stud give it to me you dude!' It was funny," Marilyn bubbled out, trying to imitate Anna's southern twang, "I couldn't stop laughing, because it was all me."

Marilyn held up her hand and made it into a fist.

"Dang!" Anna moaned, as Marilyn stepped closer and started to rub her ample breasts against her own.

Quickly they were on the ground tangled up like blonde, naked, siamese twin joined at the groin. People walked by, over, and through them as they came together in ecstasy, feeling the heat and power of each other's super sexual energy. Marilyn kissed Anna's foot, and Anna responded by taking all of Marilyn's petite foot in her mouth and sucking on it like a chicken bone. Men and women passing through the erotic force field that they created let out unexpected and unexplainable moans of pleasure.

"Mmmmm."

"Yeah."

"Tee-hee!"

They rolled over and onto a homeless man, interrupting his newspaper ca-coon slumber and replacing it with dreams of a double headed snake, and a nocturnal release that was so powerful that it should have had nocturnal release forms signed prior to happening.

Anna moaned, "I never felt this good!"

"Me either," Marilyn giggled back, as she flipped around and got on her knees in front of Anna's walk of fame.

They went on for hours and hours until they were both completely exhausted, satisfied, and had broken several windows, and caused more than a few bicycle accidents.

"Dang, that felt good," Anna whined in postmortem-paranormal-coital bliss.

"Me too. Poo poopie do."

"I wish I didn't have to go find this Master guy and then go find my killer," Anna whined again.

Marilyn began to tickle Anna and coax her, "You know you need to. I know you do too, and guess what silly billy."

"What?"

"I know where the Master is right now," she giggled, kissing Anna on the cheek.

"Oh thank gawd!" Anna responded with a laugh, "I didn't know how I was goin to find him lookin all over Cali-forni-uh for him and such. Who the heck is he anyway?"

"Well..."

Anna In The After Life #5: Flying High To The Stars

by

Charles McCarthy

Anna soared above the ground giggling as people and horses and other things flew by below her. She had always wondered what it would be like to be able to fly like that guy in Greatest American Hero, and now she knew. The air felt delicious as it rushed over her body, bringing back the tingling sensation and making her fly higher. She would be in Cali-forni-uh in no time at all. 

She was very high above the ground now, and she could hardly see anything at all with all the clouds and all. She could be anywhere. She might even be over Texas. She remembered James. 

Wait! How would she know when she was above Cali-forni-uh? She might over shoot it and wind up in Japan or even farther away, Oregon. 

Then an even greater fear struck her. How was she supposed to get down? The big black stranger had taught her how to fly, but he hadn't told her how not to fly. How was she supposed to get down?

"What'm I supposed to do now?" she said out loud, "Maybe I can just say I don't want to fly." 

As soon as these words came from her mouth, she began to plummet towards the earth.

"Dang! That worked!" Anna shouted to no one in particular, as she fell to earth like a stone. 

Luckily she had made it to LA, and more importantly, to Hollywood. The ground rushed up at her and she saw stars. 

"Dang!"

Again, luck was with her, and hitting the ground didn't hurt at all. She fell on her butt and bounced once before coming to a full stop and looking around. Cars crept by her slower than the few dirty bums, hipsters, and Scientologists that were walking by on the sidewalk. 

Anna stood up and looked down. She saw that she was standing on a star. Then a giggle came from behind her. She turned to look and couldn't hardly believe her eyes.

Anna In The After Life #4: A Big Hard Lesson in the Big Easy

Anna In The After Life #4: A Big Hard Lesson in the Big Easy
by
Charles McCarthy

The road ahead became the road behind as the white trash Florida inland swamps gave way to southern Alabama and beyond all the while seeing Steve muttering to himself, trying to come to terms with his paranormal sexual experience.

Anna and Jack lounged in the back seat watching the countryside slide by. Anna daydreamed about monkeys and all the amazing things they could do these days, forgetting about her troubles and her quest to find her own murderer, for a little while at least.

The hours past, and they soon found themselves entering the dirty streets of a city that no amount of rain or flood could wash clean, New Orleans. Steve seemed to know the city well and drove for the French Quarter like an iron filing drawn to a magnet, parking the car and heading into a bar famous for its hand grenades, hurricanes, and herpes, The Scarlet Pimp 'r' Nail.

"Where's he goin?" Anna asked.

"I think you shook him up like the drinks of the gods on the edge of the world of reason. I think you shook him up like an earthquake of the soul and the soul of the shoe of our earth is you," Jack replied, making no sense to Anna.

"I gotta go. I need to figure out who killed me, an you aren't helpin."

"Fair is fair and far away in this realm with fate at the helm," Jack answered back.

Anna got out of the car. She walked off down the streets of the French Quarter feeling a sense of power, feeling the tingling in her belly grow for no reason that she could figure. She ran her hands over the bricks of the buildings she passed, and the feeling became stronger. It was as if this whole area was drenched in sexual energy.

"Wooooohooo!"

Anna turned to the sound of the redneck mating call just in time to see a middle aged, overweight woman with blonde-orange hair and jet black roots in a "Big Johnson" t-shirt lifting her shirt to show off her flap-jack breasts to a group of teenage boys.

"The Big Easy, that's what they call it," came a whisper in her ear.

Anna turned around quickly to find a tall black man. He was muscular but stringy and his lack of clothes and giant chocolatey po' boy, told Anna right way that he was a ghost too, or he was a crazy person, and he wasn't actually talking to her.

"Yeah?" she responded, hoping that he would be able to hear her, and that he wasn't just a crazy person.

"The Big Easy, that's what it is. That's why they call it that," he responded.

"Oh yeah? Whatta they call you The Big Hard?"

He laughed deeply and ran his hand over her shoulder.

"There would be no subtlety in that name would there be?" he laughed.

"Hell no!"

As if in a trance, Anna fell to her knees, grabbed his fleshy night stick, and began to kiss and lick it like a giant candy bar. She worked her way up and down its length until his "old faithful" was faithful, and he lifted her to her feet drenched in his milk and honey.

"Thank you ever so much my little flower."

"I couldn't help myself," she replied.

"I know. Your energy is very strong. What brings you here."

"I'm tryin to get to Cali-forni-uh to find the Master, so he can teach me about my powers, so I can find out who killed me, cause I was killed."

"Fair enough," he laughed, "Have you learned how to fly yet?"

"No! Dang, I was wishin I could fly just a little while ago."

"You have all you need right now. First, you must drench yourself in a man's manly liquids. Second, you must think sexy thoughts. Third, you must say 'I can fly' four times," he told her patiently.

"Dang. That's all?"

"Yes."

"I can fly. I can fly. I can Fly. I CAN FLY!" Anna exclaimed as her feet left the ground and she began to float up and over the buildings.

"Good luck!" he shouted from below.

"Wooooohooo!" Anna screamed as she soared over the city, turning and heading for the setting sun, "Cali-forni-uh here I come!"